i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
I THOUGH I WAS THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.
why did you describe me?
why is an owl prettier than me
why does an owl get nose rubs by hottie
Owls are the coolest.
why the owl has prettier lashes than me
We are taught to walk scared late at night. We cradle our keys between our perfectly manicured fingers, walking gracefully like a baby antelope in a herd of lions. That our virginity defines our character. That I am a frigid bitch if I do not fuck him, and a dirty slut if I do."
The dorm wifi names here crack me up.
where in the heck are you
lost my shit at ‘hide yo kids hide yo wifi’
What if you went to this place at night and somewhere amongst the sea of red boxes a telephone started to ring?
Pick it up. It’s for you.
And on the other line : “Are you my mummy?”
As you drop the phone in horror, you start running, and running.
And then you see it. Standing starkly against the rusted red phone boxes there is a single blue box.
… because everything is Doctor Who and (almost) nothing hurts.
The Red Phone box graveyard
#Welcome To Night Vale
On 9th March 2008, historians have found what they believe is the first recording of a human voice. Predating Thomas Edison’s first phonograph recording of 1877. The “phonautograph”, created by etching soot-covered paper by Parisian inventor Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville, was played by US scientists using a “virtual stylus” to read the lines. The recording was initially believed to be the voice of a woman or adolescent, but further research in 2009 suggested the playback speed had been too high and that it was actually the voice of Scott himself. This is the original recording.
god fucking dammit
Deadpool, I love you. So much.
I don’t even know who Deadpool is, but I think I might be in love with him~
hE PULLED A GUN ON WALL-E IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD